Theresa's Speech Could Have Been Worse - People Could Have Listened to it.
It was impossible to watch Theresa May's Make or Break(...) speech yesterday without eating an entire pillow or hiding behind the sofa with a mix of cringing horror and for some of us, insane laughter. To call it a car crash does a disservice to multiple vehicle pileups.
In the course of one fateful speech: -
Also, people spotted that the speech had lines lifted straight from TV's The West Wing, and Florence Welch complained that they had used her music without permission. But these were comparatively small matters.
It's as if Theresa said to herself "God give me a sign if I'm doing the wrong thing" - and as the lightning and thunder raged, and the building shook around her, repeated "any small sign".
However, this collaboration of calamities could have saved her bacon (for a while). Colleagues rallied to her side and praised her bravery rather than focusing on the speech content. The worst possible outcome would have been for Theresa to give her speech in a calm and clear voice unencumbered by rising comedians and falling scenery. Because then the applause would have been heartbreakingly muted and delegates would have muttered darkly on the way out, "was that IT?"
The theme was "The British Dream", though it could have been "Labour's Dreams, only less so". Actual policy detail was scarce, and hardly what you'd call Tory home ground.
Opt-out organ donation is obviously welcome - but why has it taken so long to announce? It's already in place in Scotland and Wales, and Labour have been calling for it in England for ages. Saving it for a conference headline is playing politics with people's lives.
Funding for new council houses - 12,500 per year in 2020/21. With 48 English counties that's 260 per county per year, which doesn't even scratch the surface. What's needed is serious investment to replace the huge stock of council houses sold off for decades. But that's going too far for some Tories, so they'll do the same but less. There's still a £2bn cost though, making £15bn in new money announced in recent weeks. Surely enough to quieten those who carry a cricket bat with "Labour's Magic Money Tree" carved deep into it.
On tuition fees, Labour have highlighted the problem and even considered scrapping loans altogether. Tories decry Labour profligacy, before conference decides that fees clearly are an issue, and does some tinkering with limits - still costly without solving the core problem.
Put a cap on rip-off Energy prices? "Same old Troskyite Labour!" cry Tories before realising it's Theresa talking (while wearing a bracelet with Trotsky's lover Frida Kahlo on it for good measure). They look on nervously, knowing they'll have to say in public "It's a good idea when we suggest it, not when Labour do".
And strangely, Brexit wasn't really worth much attention in her speech - well, it's ages away yet isn't it? (Of course, Labour paid it the same scant attention at their conference, much to their shame).
All in all, the distractions proved to be just that. Simon Brodkin's raison d'être is not so much biting political satire, more the propulsion of Simon Brodkin into the public eye through public embarrassment of others (though who am I to criticise that here?) - and he's brilliant at it. Having thrown swastika-printed golf balls at Donald Trump in the past, he must have thought getting a P45 to Theresa May would be easy work, and it was - far too easy. Heads will surely roll over the shockingly lax security.
Theresa could hardly be blamed for a bad throat or gravity-prone lettering, she did well not to give up halfway. But in terms of her speech, and her Downing Street tenancy, she's not allowed to give up. She must soldier on through the storm. Cabinet friends & colleagues need her to carry the can for Brexit for as long as possible, before no longer being her friends and colleagues & saying only <strong>they</strong> can rescue the unholy Brexit mess. She's literally a hostage to the fortunes of others.
While most looked at yesterday's speech in horror at the collapsing scenery, some looked in horror at collapsing Tory ideals. When Andrew Neil summarises your day's work in a tweet:
"May speech began with praise for free markets. Finishes with price controls on energy, state subsidies for housing & reform of tuition fees"
It's maybe a good thing we were transfixed by a P45 and a falling "F".
It was impossible to watch Theresa May's Make or Break(...) speech yesterday without eating an entire pillow or hiding behind the sofa with a mix of cringing horror and for some of us, insane laughter. To call it a car crash does a disservice to multiple vehicle pileups.
In the course of one fateful speech: -
- Theresa's initial cough turned into a croaky throat beyond the power of any medicine
- Amber Rudd demanded cabinet members stand and applaud while Theresa was gasping for ai
- A "prankster" got within touching distance of the PM, at a conference where Laura Kuenssberg had a bodyguard for protection
- The party message literally fell apart letter by letter as the speech progressed (Naturally an F was off first)
Also, people spotted that the speech had lines lifted straight from TV's The West Wing, and Florence Welch complained that they had used her music without permission. But these were comparatively small matters.
It's as if Theresa said to herself "God give me a sign if I'm doing the wrong thing" - and as the lightning and thunder raged, and the building shook around her, repeated "any small sign".
However, this collaboration of calamities could have saved her bacon (for a while). Colleagues rallied to her side and praised her bravery rather than focusing on the speech content. The worst possible outcome would have been for Theresa to give her speech in a calm and clear voice unencumbered by rising comedians and falling scenery. Because then the applause would have been heartbreakingly muted and delegates would have muttered darkly on the way out, "was that IT?"
The theme was "The British Dream", though it could have been "Labour's Dreams, only less so". Actual policy detail was scarce, and hardly what you'd call Tory home ground.
Opt-out organ donation is obviously welcome - but why has it taken so long to announce? It's already in place in Scotland and Wales, and Labour have been calling for it in England for ages. Saving it for a conference headline is playing politics with people's lives.
Funding for new council houses - 12,500 per year in 2020/21. With 48 English counties that's 260 per county per year, which doesn't even scratch the surface. What's needed is serious investment to replace the huge stock of council houses sold off for decades. But that's going too far for some Tories, so they'll do the same but less. There's still a £2bn cost though, making £15bn in new money announced in recent weeks. Surely enough to quieten those who carry a cricket bat with "Labour's Magic Money Tree" carved deep into it.
On tuition fees, Labour have highlighted the problem and even considered scrapping loans altogether. Tories decry Labour profligacy, before conference decides that fees clearly are an issue, and does some tinkering with limits - still costly without solving the core problem.
Put a cap on rip-off Energy prices? "Same old Troskyite Labour!" cry Tories before realising it's Theresa talking (while wearing a bracelet with Trotsky's lover Frida Kahlo on it for good measure). They look on nervously, knowing they'll have to say in public "It's a good idea when we suggest it, not when Labour do".
And strangely, Brexit wasn't really worth much attention in her speech - well, it's ages away yet isn't it? (Of course, Labour paid it the same scant attention at their conference, much to their shame).
All in all, the distractions proved to be just that. Simon Brodkin's raison d'être is not so much biting political satire, more the propulsion of Simon Brodkin into the public eye through public embarrassment of others (though who am I to criticise that here?) - and he's brilliant at it. Having thrown swastika-printed golf balls at Donald Trump in the past, he must have thought getting a P45 to Theresa May would be easy work, and it was - far too easy. Heads will surely roll over the shockingly lax security.
Theresa could hardly be blamed for a bad throat or gravity-prone lettering, she did well not to give up halfway. But in terms of her speech, and her Downing Street tenancy, she's not allowed to give up. She must soldier on through the storm. Cabinet friends & colleagues need her to carry the can for Brexit for as long as possible, before no longer being her friends and colleagues & saying only <strong>they</strong> can rescue the unholy Brexit mess. She's literally a hostage to the fortunes of others.
While most looked at yesterday's speech in horror at the collapsing scenery, some looked in horror at collapsing Tory ideals. When Andrew Neil summarises your day's work in a tweet:
"May speech began with praise for free markets. Finishes with price controls on energy, state subsidies for housing & reform of tuition fees"
It's maybe a good thing we were transfixed by a P45 and a falling "F".
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